One of the most common ways in which the dark lord attacks sinners in Christ is by making them re-live their past mistakes. He does this by bringing up memories (which we will discuss how he does so later) and tempts them to be entrapped by these memories like a caged animal. His tactics are to bring up an event or memory in which the saint-sinner is reminded of some particular sin that they have committed or even that which has been committed against them.
In the case of those who have sinned, the dark lord will tempt you to re-live the event as if you are on trial. He recruits you to be his co-prosecutor against your own soul. He paints God in such a picture as if He is a ruthless judge who is not yet quite finished with you and your past. If you have done something wrong, he will plague you with some thoughts of:
No hope for grace
Guilt for presuming upon God’s forgiveness
Others finding out and wanting to publicly deal with you so as to shame you
God’s discipline hanging over your head to strike at you when you least expect it; this discipline doesn’t look like loving fatherly discipline (Heb. 12:7-11), it looks like condemnation.
That you have committed an unforgivable sin. It may not be the unforgivable sin but he will paint it in such a way that it seems like no man could recover a relationship with God after such an act.
Your past makes you unusable to God in the Great Commission
You should never feel at ease until you have paid your penalty
By re-living your past, the dark lord wants to keep you from forgetting what lies behind (Phil. 3:13-14). He wants to keep you from remembering what your current identity is in Christ (Rom. 6). He wants to keep you from living by faith (Gal. 2:20). He wants to keep you from rising up from the depths of despair to go out in the peace of knowing your faith has saved you (Lk. 7:50).
What Re-Living the Past Does
He wants you to be trapped by the past. He wants you to dwell on your sin. Dwelling on sin causes you to skip out on seeing your Savior. He knows that the longer you dwell upon the glory of Jesus Christ that you will become more like Him (2 Cor. 3:18) and, therefore, more able to tear down his armies and thwart his tactics. You must remember that this is war! There is no neutral ground. There is never any “no man’s land”. As long as you are on this earth, the dark lord and his forces will seek you out.
He will pull up a specific memory from your past and until you defeat him there he will continue to hound you with that thought. “Am I innocent? Did I really do that? If this went public, what would people think? Is God going to ‘get me back’ for this? Have I really dealt with this sin as I should?” But be sure, once you have fought off that one memory, he will bring up another.
When you realize that you have sinned (however greatly but especially in those times of great sin), the dark lord will show you more of your depravity than you have ever realized before. He will make you feel as if you are the epitome of sin. He will make you feel as if no one has a more evil, darkened, and hardened heart like you. You are an abnormal sinner. You are a hopeless sinner. You are a graceless sinner.
He will tempt you to think that no other Christians have sinned this way in the past and even if they did they dealt with it far better than you have. Before they went to heaven (if they were going to get to heaven), they went back and fixed everything! The dark lord will tell you “You have depended too much on the free forgiveness of Jesus and haven’t quite turned over every stone to truly repent of this. What you need to do”, the dark lord wants you to think, “is to go back and split every hair to make sure you get the justice you deserve. Your repentance from such acts and thoughts are not enough. Your seeking others for help is not enough. No matter how small, you must announce it to the world so that they can put you on trial because the courtroom of Christ is only a heavenly reality. God will never set you free until you go through the earthly courtroom.”
When Satan Pinpoints the Memory
When you look back on such an event and you realize that you have not sinned in such a way, the dark lord will tempt you to think that your thoughts of the past aren’t accurate. He will try to take things out of context and blow them out of proportion. “You forgot about this part of it. You forgot how it hurt the other person greatly. You forgot how much it offended the glory of Christ.” He will make you ask plenty of “what if” questions. Here is the thing about this, no matter how many of those “what if” questions you answer accurately and honestly there will always be more “what if” questions to come. Often times, the dark lord will only use the knowledge that you have against you for the next “what if”. What is required here is to see that this is not of God. We must call this for what it is. This is a satanic attack!
When you look back on such an event and you realize that you have sinned greatly, he will pester you. He will pinpoint his full attack upon this one spot. It is the one crack in the armor that he will keep throwing his forces at. He is like a boxer who finds the one weak spot on his opponent and he will beat you into submission by hammering that one spot. He will darken your view of the cross. He will cause you to lose all sight of forgiveness. He will make your sin much bigger than your Savior. He will grip your thought life with such force it feels as if you can never escape. It will feel more real than the very moment in which you are living. Anything that reminds you of anything remotely similar to that memory will feel like spiritual PTSD. He will fire a thousand arrows at that area of your hurt conscience. If He cannot take away your salvation, He will certainly try to take away your experience of it.
How To Fight By Faith
When you read the Bible, especially when Jesus deals with such horrible sinners with such terrible pasts, do you see our Lord (the One who hates sin more than anyone!) treating people this way? Do you hear Him giving the command for His little lambs to turn over every stone in their past until all their sin is acknowledged to the full and dealt with on this earth? Do you hear Him say, “Fix this in your past first and then you may experience my grace”? Does He who is gentle and lowly in heart (Mt. 11:28-30) seem like the type of Savior who would hound such tender souls who are overloaded by the crushing yoke of their past? Would He really be the summun bonum (Latin for “the highest good”) if He tortured His saints with their past? Why would anyone want to go from living a life where they do everything to forget their past sins to go to a “savior” who would hound them for the rest of their lives on this earth with their past? Is this freedom? Is this love? Is this forgiveness?
We must not let the dark lord determine our Christology. We must remember the study that B.B. Warfield undertook when he sought to determine the emotion that was most attached to Christ in the Scriptures. “The emotion which we should naturally expect of finding most frequently attributed to that Jesus whose whole life was a mission of mercy, and whose ministry was so marked by deeds of beneficence that it was summed up in the memory of his followers as a going through the land ‘doing good’ (Acts. xi. 38), is no doubt ‘compassion.’ In point of fact, this is the emotion which is most frequently attributed to him.”
Does this mean that Christ doesn’t deal with our past that needs to be dealt with? No. Does this mean that Christ doesn’t call us to repent of all sin? No. It means that when He deals with our past and when He calls us to repent that He is first and foremost compassionate when He goes about it. He is not harsh, rough, and domineering. He desires us to leave our past in the past so that we might live by faith in the present. He knows that the past can entrap us in a dungeon of despair (similar to what Christian in Pilgrim’s Progress was entrapped in). He wants to boost our faith.
How Does Christ Treat Us?
Listen, when Christ convicts us, not condemns us, we will know it. It is of a much more pure way. See how He approach Peter after He had risen from the dead (Jn. 21:15-19). Notice how He approached all the disciples after they all betrayed Him (Jn. 20:19-29). If He really wants you to deal with something, He will enable you to deal with it. He will not rub your nose in it. He will show you the grace, love, mercy, and forgiveness that you have in Him the entire time. He has dealt with our sins. You must fight to remember that this involves all of your past.
When Christ died on the cross and rose for your justification, He meant it. In other words, He did not neglect anything. He knows it all and it’s for the past event, that past event, that He died. He wants to forgive. He desires to cleanse you.
Are there some things from our past that we must deal with if they are left undone? Yes, but when He deals with you it is much more pastoral than the dark lord. There are many times in which things are too far gone and He desires for us to move on. It would be an act of unbelief were we to tell Jesus, “Just wait right here for a second so that I can go back and do something. Then I will follow you.”
He places your eyes upon Him more than your past. But, once He deals with our past, He does not make us keep re-hashing it. God is not “historical” with us in that He brings up our past time and time again. Matter of fact, He bids us time and time again to go on an live in light of our full forgiveness in Christ:
Luke 7:50 And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
Mark 5:34 "Daughter," said Jesus, "your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be free of your affliction."
Luke 17:19 And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”
Philippians 3:13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead
Biblical Reflection and Application
Was David supposed to re-live his memory of sleeping with Bathsheba and killing Uriah over and over even after he heard of God’s forgiveness from Nathan? Did Jesus come to Peter after He had risen from the dead and did He rub Peter’s nose in his denying Jesus three times? Was Paul to always dwell on the fact that he endorsed the stoning of Stephen? Was Jacob to keep thinking about the countless lies he told in the past? Was Sarah to remind Abraham over and over about the two times that he told others that she was his sister? Was Moses to be haunted by the Egyptian he killed or of his striking the rock? What kind of salvation would this be?
We must remember that it is more of an act of faith and more honoring to our Lord when we forget what lies behind and press forward in faith. We need to realize that this is a great danger to our souls if we think we cannot rest in the blood of Christ but rather need to seek atonement another way. After all, when we seek to re-live our past we are hoping that we are either guiltless or we try to figure out how we can atone for our sins. Either way, that is avoiding the Cross.
Now, to be sure, there are some who can use these truths to their own sinister advantage to run away from their sin. They can use it as a “get out of jail free” card. Those souls must deal with the Lord and He will be sure to deal with them. But, these truths are for those who aren’t running away from Jesus. They want Him. They want to be free from their sins.
God Of Our Future
God promises us a future (Jer. 29:11). One piece of the fruit of the Spirit is peace, not torment (Gal. 5:22). The Christian is at peace with God (Rom. 5:1). Sin no longer has dominion over us (Rom. 6:14). There is no more condemnation for us in Christ (Rom. 8:1). The Spirit bears witness in us that we are children of God (Rom. 8:12-17). He doesn’t torture us with regret and shame from the past. For freedom Christ set us free; we must stand firm and never again take upon us the yoke of slavery (Gal. 5:1).
Jesus always approaches people seeing their potential future in Him (Jn. 1:42, 47; Mt. 4:20). Even when He does remind someone of their past (such as the Samaritan woman in John 4), He always does so in order to quickly bring them to the source of grace. Do you really think sinners and tax collectors would flock to be with Him (Matt. 9:10; Luke 15:1) if He only reminded them time and time again of their constant failures and gave them no hope?
Jesus is far greater than we can ever imagine! Do not let those attacks from the dark lord change the reality of the heart of Christ (Mt. 11:28-30). Do not assume the worst or most harsh motives of Christ. The dark lord always tries to make himself look more gentle, loving, gracious, and approachable than Jesus. He wants to paint Jesus in rough colors. He wants you to say to yourself, “Why would I continue with Jesus if this is what life with Him is like?”